I think I can easily argue that we’ve all been there, ladies: Dating (or pursuing) the bad guy – for the thrill of it and the goal of ’turning him’. I thought that the thrill of that adventure was the high of the highest…then I dated the nice guy. Yes, the guy that can’t wait to spend the day after a date night in your company…that guy…
I can honestly say that the thrill of dating the nice guy exceeded that of dating the bad guy. I never thought in my wildest dreams that such thrill could come from the simple comfort of knowing that what I see is what I get – of no playing around, no mind games. With scars on my heart, it’s difficult to let a man in but with his honesty, genuine interest and persistence, he makes it easier. Even if I feel like I’m climbing the highest mountain every time he looks as me, at least I know that I’ll make it to the top in one piece – no matter the outcome.
He might not exactly be the type to make himself noticeable at social gatherings, he’s most likely even slightly shy. However, his kind heart and hidden confidence make up for it. In comparison, he is the cuter and more exciting choice, and because he is who he is, he makes you break all your rules. The fact that he makes you do so makes him the most exciting guy you’ve come across. Especially, as with him, there are no games: He’s open about his feelings and you can actually trust your own feelings in all of it – he makes you feel comfortable.
My nice guy does many things that make me feel comfortable in the dating-relationship: He’s interested in getting to know me, he gives me genuine compliments, he texts me right after we’ve met up just to make sure I’ve made it back home in one piece, he buys my favourite snacks on date nights, he plans the nearer future for us, he spends hours cooking the right meal for us, introduces me to his friends, holds me all through the night in his sleep and kisses me on my nose because he knows that it makes me happy…he brings a smile to my lips on a daily basis and brings a little extra happiness to my life. And then he laughs at my horrible attempts to pronounce Dutch words. In short, he does all the right, little things that make my heart melt, which ensure me, on a daily basis, that he’s right for me. I know that I can be myself around him even in moments when I feel most flawed and messed up. However, it hasn’t been easy for me to accept his interest for so many reasons – the main ones being that I’m not good at letting guys into my life and I don’t believe I deserve his interest, attention and care. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s better than I am – in every way: He’s much more personal, open and genuine. Being with him, however, brings that side of me out, more and more – I hope I can bluff my way into his heart before he realizes this. Because of his good nature, it confuses me that he’s still here… For certain, I thought that I’d by now would have chased him away a long time ago – even if I try to behave and not push him away. I’m so glad I haven’t.
I thought about ending it so many times – especially in the beginning. I’ve told him this. The look on his face when I told him made me so guilty and ashamed – hurting him is the last thing I want to do. …I didn’t end it – the thought of not pursuing this and see where it takes me brings so much sadness. Selfishly, I have to see where this is going – even when I believe I’ll end up hurt because he for sure will realize that he’s too good for me. But he’s worth the potential pain – because what he brings to my life cannot be measured in pain anyway.